Sensei and Sensibility
Monday, January 27, 2003
Coincidence?
Hmmm. I don`t know if I believe that anything grand is mere coincidence. I am a fatalist, however, and so I tend to search for the meaning behind seemingly random acts.
Take my being here in Japan for an example. About 5 years ago, my friends Leanne and Jim were departing for Japan on the JET Programme. I didn`t think, "gee, that`s something I`d like to do." I didn`t think "I`m so jealous!"
Only one thing flashed though my mind: "That will be me in a few years."
To be fair, when I came here, I knew nothing about Japan. When I had that thought, I didn`t rush around to study all things Japanese. Once I had that one random thought, everything just fell into place - perfectly. It came time for me to apply for the programme, and being the lazy so and so that I am, I procrastinated. My application shouldn`t have made it in on time, but it did. I had to write a "statement of purpose" - a brief essay on why I want to go to Japan. I couldn`t think of anything at all, but I put my pen to the paper and beautiful words started flowing through its inky tip.
I received notification that I had made it through the first cut, and would be moving on to the next round - the interview stage. I took out books on Japan from the library, planning on reading them. Once again, my laziness won out. Or perhaps it wasn`t laziness, but a lack of concern - I knew I`d be going.
The interview came, and the questions were difficult - I had to explain to an 8 year old Japanese student why Quebec wants to separate from Canada, and why the Japanese were interred in WW2. Luckily, I had watched the movie, "Snow Falling on Cedars" just a few nights prior to the interview - otherwise I wouldn`t have even known that Canada interred the Japanese back then. I kid you not, that`s how little I knew. I was asked to perform a Shakespearian monologue. I was asked specifically why I wanted to go to Japan as a teacher and not as an actress (my degree was in Theatre). Now, I have no idea what I would say. Then, I had no idea what to say, but once again, I opened my mouth and beautiful, passionate words came out. At one point, the interviewer was holding onto my hand and repeating "exactly,exactly!" I think I was saying something cheesy, like, "I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way". Really, really bad, cheesy stuff (even if I do admit to believing it). And they ate it up. I pretty much knew I was in at this point, though I didn`t know why. I didn`t question it. There were a lot of coincidences on that path, but I didn`t question them. I already knew that it was meant to be, even if I didn`t know why. At this point, Leanne and Jim were back in Canada after their 3-year stint in Japan. While I was interested in their stories, I was not obsessively so. I glanced briefly at their photos and hummed and hawed with the rest of the gang - but that`s about it. After my interview, Leanne turned to me and said, "Sabine, you really want this, don`t you?" Of course I responded with an affirmative, but inside my mind and heart, I was thinking, "Not really. I mean, it would be cool, but it`s not a passion of mine. It`s just something that I feel I have to do, and I don`t know why. I just feel that this experience was meant for me at this time."
Strangely, though, everything did fall into place (as things have a tendency to do when one is on the right life path). It was frighteningly easy for me in every way. Too easy. Scarily easy as I realized that they only accepted a small percentage of the people who applied, and many who had spent years studying Japan had been turned away.
At work, it was also surprisingly easy to leave. I expected my boss to be upset, as I was running a certain section and she didn`t have much experience with that department. She looked at me. Then she smiled and hugged me and told me that although she should be upset, that she had a feeling about this venture. She felt that it was necessary for me, but she didn`t know why. Earlier, her mother had given me a tea reading (they`re from Cyprus), and in that reading there were three important things - all of which have come true. The first, was that I would be going on a long trip. The second was that I would meet a man who would show me much kindness. The third was that I would upset a friend and run the risk of losing this person if we both didn`t commit to surviving whatever the problem was. Spookily, all of these has come true. Every last one of her predictions - coincidence? The woman had no idea that I had applied to the JET Programme (neither did my boss). She didn`t even know that I was single. I noted the event in my mind, but did not think that anything other than getting into the JET Programme would come true. I forgot about the last couple of parts entirely, in fact. Coincidence? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
In any case, here I am, sitting and pondering. Perhaps we endow things with meaning. Perhaps not. Perhaps the meaning we endow things with affects the way we perceive happenings, which confirms our hopes and fears. I don`t know. I just choose to exist, and to listen for the hints. There are hints of what is right and wrong for us in everything that we do. We can find them, only if we are receptive to them - both the good and the bad. It may, like for Cubicle Dweller, come in the form of running into an ex in a random spot when you are with your current girlfriend. You may call it intuition, you may call it fate. You may call it coincidence. It is up to each of us to endow these hints with meaning, and that can be affected by our state of mind, our dreams, our fears, whatever.
For my part, I try not to dwell too much on what the meaning of things are until afterward. Things work out in the wash - as long as they do work out, for better or for worse, I am OK.
So, here I am, a full halfway through my time here in Japan, and I still don`t know so much. I don`t know why I came, I don`t know why I am staying, and I don`t know what I am doing here. I just know that it feels right. I have to trust that feeling, and wait for the future to reveal to me the answers to my questions.
In the meantime, I will continue to think with my heart, and let my mind handle the administrative ends of things.
:)
 Sabine . 9:20 PM . Comments
Sunday, January 26, 2003
Random stuff
Most of the classes for this week have been cancelled. About a third of our students are at home for the flu, so they`ve decided to cancel classes until Wednesday. Ho hum - not for the teachers.
In other news, Maeva and I have decided to pursue our life-long dream of becoming amateur taiko players. We saw a concert on Sunday and we were hooked - classes start in May!
Lastly, and most sadly, I am in a bit of a daze today. There was a tragic accident on the weekend in my prefecture, resulting in the loss of one of our Assistant English Teachers (and soccer players). I am at a loss. I am glad I doN`t have to teach much this week, because I don`t know how I could handle that. Anyway, our prefectural association (which I am on) is organizing a memorial, so I may be a bit busy for a while.
Everyone, please take care of yourselves, and take care of those you love. Life is awfully, awfully short sometimes.
Sabine . 8:14 PM . Comments
Monday, January 20, 2003
My Life
This week, my life can only be described as a big, long, Ally McBeal episode. There is a sad absurdity to the events of the week that I seem to be unable to grasp. I am hoping for one of two things: that the credits will come on really soon and the show will be over, or that I will wake up to discover it was all a dream.
The only difference is that there are no dancing babies. But I still find myself looking for a theme song. Any suggestions?
Come on - tell me. What TV show does YOUR life resemble lately???
Sabine . 9:48 PM . Comments
Sunday, January 19, 2003
To Stay or Not to Stay: THAT is the Question!
I have decided to stay here in Ikuno for a third year. Some of you might be happy about this, some of you will be upset. Here are my reasons:
In our JET Programme manual, there is a whole section on making the decision to recontract. Under reasons NOT to recontract, they list, bsides the usual stuff, the following:
Money
To delay the inevitable (the return home, homelessness, joblessness, not being a "Celebrity" anymore, reverse culture shock, finding out that half your friends don`t even remember your name anymore - that kind of thing)
Reasons to stay include:
Job satifaction/self efficacy
Hmmmm. This was not enough for me to go on. YES, the money is good (especially because of one`s tax-free status in Canada - you have NO idea how muh we pay in taxes until one stops paying them!), the benefits are good (we get our pension payments back uon our return - after 3 years, that is like an automatic 15,000 CAD savings plan!), 4 weeks vacation a year, subsidized living expenses (not a lot, but where in Vancouver could I find a 2 bedroom apartment for 400CAD a month??). Basically, my standard of living has gone WAY up.
And YES, I do want to delay the inevitable. My plans are to go back to school for my Master`s Degree. If I stay 3 years, I will have enough money (hopefully) to lose a chunk of my student loan, pay my tuition for the master`s programme, backpack through S.E. Asia for a month, and head off to Europe to see my family (and hopefully Greece and Italy as well!). I do not relish apartment hunting, sitting alone and wondering where all my friends went (it is a lot different to come back for a visit than it is to come back for good - people get used to not having you around)
So, YES, part of my recontracting decision is based on these dangerous reasons.
The other part, though, far outweighs these reasons - the above is just the frosting on the cake.
As Leanne and Jim told me, when they were deciding whether or not to recontract for their 3rd and final year (we have to leave after 3 years on the JET Programme):
One has 3 years to miss one`s home country, but the rest of one`s life to miss Japan.
This is the biggie, for me.
I love my job. I love my students. I want to see them graduate, I want to support them. I have established such great relationships with them that some of them call me "big sister". I have a great relationship with the other teachers at my schools. They are my friends, and are very supportive of me. Sure, I get busy, homesick, stressed, etc at school - but when I look at the kids and talk with them - that makes all the difference! I also feel like I am growing both personally, and as a teacher/mentor. This will directly help me with my future career.
Another reason for me to stay is the relationships I have made with other people. There is Maeva, who is a total dear. I love her to death and Asago town is much closer to me than Ottawa (her home town). She is also staying. There is Yuko, my dear friend who lived in Vancouver for 6 months. Next year, if the little birdie who whispered the rumour in my ear is correct, she might be replacing Mrs Yamashita (who will be on maternity leave). I will get to spend my final year working alongside my best friend here. She might come back to Vancouver with me after her contract is done.
The guy I am seeing. (Still can`t publish his name here, as some students do come on this site!) While I make it a rule never to make life-decisions around a relationship (unless it is marriage or anything after that), this certainly is a factor. We are just beginning to get to know each other, and hey, I wouldn`t be in the relationship if I didn`t want to know more, right? He`s a sweet guy, an interesting guy. He is gentle, and kind, and caring. He`s a person worth getting to know, I think. That being said, my decision wouldn`t be any different if he wasn`t in the picture.
The Fujiwara`s, Yamashita`s, other ALT`s, the members of my adult English class, my Japanese class - these are all wonderful people whom I really want to get to know better too - my relationships seem to all be beginning to blossom - I just can`t nip them in the bud!
Self efficacy - I am beginning to be able to communicate in Japanese, and I am just beginning to feel like I actually live here. People have stopped seeing me as "The Foreigner" or "The Stranger" and are beginning to embrace me as "Sabine". I want to enjoy that! I am feeling capable in my job, but by no means have I hit a plateau. There is still so much for me to do and so much for me to learn!!!!!
They have also given me more time off, so that I can go home in the summer to see my family and friends - this was THE most important thing for me - if they wouldn`t have given me this, I wouldn`t have stayed. I LOVE the people back home and miss them daily. I need to hug them once in a while.
So, there I have it. I am staying. I know definitely when I will be coming home - summer 2004. I can start planning for that. I am exactly half-way through my time here in Ikuno. It seems like a long time and a short time all in one!!!
:)
Sabine . 4:20 PM . Comments
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Other News!
This just in: Shawn, the other ALT in my town, proposed to his girlfriend FINALLY (they`ve been dating for 5 years and have followed each other back and forth between their respective countries of Australia and Japan the whole time)! Yay Miyoko!!!!!! We have decided to celebrate with crab nabe (soup) and beer. I raise my glass in a toast to the cutest couple in all of Kansai (seriously!). They`ll need all the beer they can get as they try to plan 2 weddings - one here and one in his native Australia. Ganbatte!
Omedetou gozaimasu!!!!!!!
:)
Sabine . 11:10 PM . Comments
Coming of Age Day
I have met some wonderful people in my time here - absolutely wonderful people. Everytime I do meet someone like that, I feel sadness in my heart: I know that they are going to wave me off on that dreaded final day. That day when I hop into the town`s car and am driven to the airport one last time. Sigh. It hurts already. Leanne and Jim were right when they told me, "Just remember this: you have three years to miss Canada, and the rest of your life to miss Japan." They were so, so right. I am only halfway through my time here, and already I am feeling the pain of the impending separation. Sigh.
Anyhow, back to the Yamashitas (NOT the same Yamashita whom you have heard me refer to here - she`s the Japanese English teacher at my school. These people are quite unrelated)
Anyhow, this Yamashita family invited me over to their house to celebrate "Coming of Age Day" - this is the day when everybody who has turned 20 in the past year celebrated their becoming an adult (yah, I know, it is strange to see a murder reported in the news that was committed by a "child" of 19...). Auggie and Tammy were also invited, as Mr Yamashita lives in another town, but is the Vice Principal of one of my elementary schools.
We walked into their home and were immediately greeted as both important guests, and members of the family. Mrs Yamashita went to such obvious pains to prepare every kind of food imaginable for us. It was as though she didn`t know what we`d like, so she decided to make everything. They are such kind-hearted people, so it was easy to converse. We saw pictures of their kids and we talked about many different things. We tried a bit of everything, but honestly, there was so much food there that we didn`t even make a dent: salads, sushi, okonmiyaki, crab, sweet potatoes, fruit salad, donburi, chili prawns - you name it. We felt so badly - we are all pretty casual people!
After talking and drinking and playing brain teasers and such, Mr Yamashita`s sister came over with a special kimono - it was our turn to don the uniform of the holiday - all the 20 year old girls wear beautiful multi-layered kimono and have their portrait taken. This was our surprise - we were to pretend that we were 20 for a day (since none of us lived here then) and wear the kimono and have our portrait taken.
Putting on such a formal kimono is quite a chore - two people dressed me. First, they had to pull my hair off my neck - I am told that this is necessary to make the neck appear longer - also, is it important for men to view the nape of the neck. I dunno - I`ve never seen the nape of my neck, but hey - whatever floats your boat! Then I had to don some sort of thin robe and was bound around the middle. Then another, thicker robe, bouind with some sort of brace type thing. Then another robe in a salmon colour, and finally, the kimono. Around this, they tied a brace type of thing again. Things were tucked and pulled ( they really tie that thing on you tight!), and finally, we were ready for the Obi - the sash around the middle. I was pulled and pushed in every direction as they wrapped me like a fancy Christmas present, replete with a huge bow in the back. On top of the obi, they tied another more colourful cord, and then another one on top of that. A few more tugs, here and there and I was good to go. Except that one of my tabi (two-toed "socks" had come partially undone. I reached over to do it up and discovered that I couldn`t bend at all. In fact, a kimono would make a wonderful suit of armour, especially around the middle. ALL my curves were gone (no ordinary feat!) - they were replaced by layers and layers of stuff under the obi. It was actually quite comfortable - except for the lack of mid-section flexibility. My posture was perfect - looked and felt like I was wearing about 3 or 4 back braces!
I walked out into the room to cheers - no one had ever seen me in anything feminine before! To my defense, I can dress like a girl, but I choose not to in the muddy, mountainous region I live in! (Ok, you caught me, I am a bit of a tomboy...)
The camera was whipped out, and suddenly I became crazy - maybe from the tightness of the bindings. I see the pictures now and my smile is just too big. There is even one of me burying my head in my hands because I am laughing so hard! I tried to kneel and bow to the lady who brought the kimono, but I couldn`t bend far enough in the obi. I felt absurd and gorgeous at the same time. I grabbed an empty beer can and cigarette off the table - I fugured that I may as well wear the kimono "Sabine-style"! I heard someone talking about the tea ceremony, so I started to pretend I was doing one. Except that in my mind, I was pretending to be a guy dressed as a girl trying to do a bastardized version of one. I`ve decided that if teaching doesn`t work out, I am going to take that routine to the stage here - it was so much fun!!!
Anyhow, I was finally unwound from my bindings and back in the room with the others. We laughed and talked and played games. In the end, I was sad to leave this wonderful group of people - I hadn`t laughed so hard in such a long time. Our hostess pressed huge bags of leftovers into our hands, gave us huge hugs, and stood waving until we had driven out of sight. It was a night that will stay in my mind forever. You just wait till I get the photos up!
:)
Sabine . 7:40 PM . Comments
Addendum
Somebody queried my site yesterday (or rather, they queried "Google" and somehow were directed to my site to find a certain word translated into Japanese. Being the kind girl that I am, and because I am studying Japanese (though I doubt that this word would show up on any exam), I decided to find out what the translation for it is. Actually, it is good to know these kinds of words, as every once in a while one of my students will say them just to try to shock me. I can`t act shocked if I don`t know what they mean! I won`t retype the search request - I have a fear that if I do, I will suddenly get thousands of hits from people misdirected to this site thinking that it is p*rn. (I also figure that if I mistype certain words, then people will also not be directed here when they are searching for certain genres of website).
OK, drumroll please..... Ya ready for it...? It is the same word as is used in English, but the pronunciation is decidedly Japanese: ferrachio (with a long "a"). OK. That`s it. I am finished with my kindness and won`t be a "dirty dictionary" for any more requests. Yes, I have friends here who do not mind translating things like that for me, but it still puts me in an awkward position. They know I am dating someone, so when I go up to them and ask, "Say, what`s the Japanese for .........?" They look at me really strangely and burst into laughter. I am not very quick at catching on to their laughter, so then I am left to think about their strange reaction. When I realize that they think I may want to know this information for personal use, I proceed to DIE of embarrassment and explain to them that it is someone on my website who wants to know. They then look at me as if to say, "Yah, SURE it is!" and I want to crawl into a hole and hide. This is a small town, after all. I imagine my asking about that word has started numerous small scandals. So, from now on, I will translate only clean stuff...sorry!
;)
Sabine . 7:15 PM . Comments
Monday, January 13, 2003
Drunk Party Photos
I haven`t had much to say lately, as I don`t tend to get out much in the winter. During these times, I need to find ways to amuse myself. So, I look at how people came to find my website.
Here are the most interesting search requests lately:
1. "Drunk Party Photos". I guess there are a few on my site... (is the party drunk, or are the photos drunk though??!)
2. "Anger and Japanese Squat Toilets". Freud would have a heyday with this one... Obviously, the poor sould who tried to search for this has some issues he/she needs to work out. While there are many jokes I could make about it, I don`t want to further anger the poor person who already seems to have enough stress in his/her life!
3. "Photos of Men in Kilts" - this one happens frequently. Very, very frequently. I wonder if the searcher knows that all the men in kilts on my site are married.
4. "The Japanese word for oral s@x" - why WHy WHY did this person get directed to my site? I do not know the answer to help this person, but I will talk to one of the other teachers here and see if she can help me.....She can`t remember, but will e-mail her friend to find out for me. Geez - I have enough trouble trying to remember CLEAN Japanese, let alone the dirty stuff!!!!
I am working on a lesson plan to incorporate "Fridge Magnet Poetry" into a class on Valentine`s Day. The students will have to write poems for Valentine`s cards - now THIS should be interesting!!!!! (and very cute!!!)
:)
Sabine . 11:27 PM . Comments
Thursday, January 09, 2003
What Exactly IS the Job of an ALT?
Hi everyone!!! I was asked to write a piece for some big, important prefectural meeting that is coming up, and I need help. Because this is apparently big and important, I don`t want to mess it up, so please help me - I turn to you all as editors (especially those of you who have experience in the fields of writing!!). Please write your response in the "comments" space by douple clicking on the link. Here goes:
What Exactly IS the Job of an ALT?
When trying to answer this question, I am reminded of a quote from William Shakespeare:
"To be or not to be: that is the question."
Of course, young Prince Hamlet was talking about suicide, so I must take this quote out of context in order to use it as it applies to ALT`s. To put it most simply, an ALT just IS. Yes, we are here to assist in the teaching of English, and while that is a large part of my job, I must admit that it probably isn`t even half of what I do.
As ALTs, we have a choice. We can demand the time and respect of other teachers, thus taking the "T" part of our title and making it our predominant focus. I, for one, had very little training or experience as a teacher. In fact, it took me about six months to feel any sort of confidence as a teacher. My stress levels were very high when I first started my position in Ikuno, as I struggled to justify to the citizens of my town why I should be here, why I should be allocated so much of the taxpayers money to be teaching, when I was completely inexperienced at this task. I was placing too much emphasis on my role as a teacher. In time, I learned to let go of that, and to just BE.
Slowly, I saw that when little children would see me, they would confer with their friends and then shout a joyous "Herro!" - they saw a foreign face and worked to muster up every bit of English they could remember. I would go to the grocery store, and nervously look at the various packages and boxes and wonder what they contained. One or two brave souls would come up to me and offer to help me out. One time, a gentleman removed the salmon I had chosen from my basket and replaced it with a far better piece of fish. In the same supermarket, when I was distraught to find out that they did not carry the sauce for daigaku imo, four housewives came to my rescue and together, they explained to me how to make this dish from scratch. At the post office, the clerks were terrified of me. There was one gentleman, however, who was very patient. He took the time to find out what kind of communicative methods I can understand and always takes the time to use that information to help me. My presence in this town is educating people in English, but more importantly, it is informing people how to communicate with those who don`t necessarily know their customs and how to speak their language.
Yes, knowing English is important in today`s business environment. Honestly, though, most of my students will never need to use it, as they aspire to become housewives, hairdressers, and gas station attendants. Incidentally, one of the attendants at my gas station speaks incredible English - it is a shame he only has me to practice with. Those who do aspire to work in fields where English may be used, are not usually learning the English which they will use. They are learning the foundations though. But I digress. Back to the average citizens and students in Ikuno. I cannot help them achieve fluency in English. For that, I believe that one must spend a signifiant amount of time in an English speaking country or study the language for many more years than Junior High School provides. I can, however, inspire. I can afford people the opportunity to practice their communication skills with me. That`s right, I did not say English skills. This is because while it is important to learn English, I believe that it is more important to be able to communicate by whatever means possible. English is only one tool. It is a global environment, and English may not help the people here to communicate with the many others on this globe who do NOT use the English language.
Therefore, my job is to be that person who affords all citizens of Ikuno the opportunity to practice their communication skills. Watch an ALT in his or her private life. Most of us do not know Japanese, yet we perform often amazing feats of gesticulating, drawing, and speaking in Nihong-lish to get our ideas across. Usually, it works. This is what is important. I was so proud to see the students of Ikuno Junior High School doing this on their recent exchange to Canada. It is not a skill that is born in people though. It is an art form that must be learned, often via the "sink or swim" method. That is why it is important for me to just BE. By not knowing Japanese, everyone who comes into contact with me will be forced to sink or to swim. And, judging from the fact that I am beginning the third year of my stay in this town, the residents of Ikuno are swimming beautifully.
Some ALT`s opt not to BE, however. They come to resent the difficulties in communication and the cultural barriers. They stay away from the people in their town. They lament their difficulties in making friends. They sulk in the tea room and wonder why people at school are not friendly with them. They assume that BEING is a static state, that people will want to come up to them, that people will want to learn from them. They stop trying to get to know people; they give up, thinking that it is just too difficult. And, it is difficult. It requires a lot of energy and a lot of diligence. It took me about a year to make friends here - there were just too many barriers to be able to get to know people. It is natural for us to want to pull away from difficult things, just at the moment that we should perhaps give more. In this way, being an ALT is a lifestyle choice. It is our life. Every time we leave our homes, we are, in fact, working. People watch us, and make generalizations about the rest of the world from our actions. It is a great responsibility!
What does all this mean to the students and teachers at the Junior High Schools in which we work, though? For starters, it means that our job extends beyond the classroom. They will be affected by our presence in our towns. They will be affected by our presence in our schools, if we make ourselves available to them. I recently stopped by the volleyball club, and noticed that the students in the other clubs came by to watch. Honestly, I am completely inept at just about every sport except for volleyball, yet I felt guilty for not stopping by the other clubs. Joining in club activities afforded those students the opportunity to get to know me outside of the classroom. We spoke in Japanese, and I learned many things about the people my students are. We talked about things other than school. The students in the other clubs really wanted that chance too. They wanted the chance to learn about me. They didn`t want to hear about ALT Sensei or Gaijin Sensei, they wanted to know about Sabine Sensei.
This transfers to the classroom quite nicely, for I feel that it is the relationship-building that we do that makes the largest difference to our students and our communities. My students, like most, are pretty shy and they are afraid to make mistakes. When I have a relationship to them that extends beyond the classroom, then they can hear my mistakes when speaking Japanese. They feel comfortable when I correct them, and they are not shy to correct my Japanese either. The result is that even the students who feel incapable of mustering a simple word in English will still try.
That being said, they will lose this willingness if all I do is stand up and spout off grammar rules. The activities I choose must encompass the communicative spirit of the relationship I already have with the students. This is not such an easy task! It is made easier for me because I have already established a relationship with my students. I know that many of them are like me when I was their age. With those who are different from me, I can draw parallels to my friends. It also helps to have a good sense of fun, oneself. Anyone can memorize the rules and words in a language. It is the breeding of the desire to use these tools that is now my purpose. Socrates said, "A pupil should be a candle one lights, not a jug one fills." As an ALT, I have a choice. I can fill my students` minds with the knowledge of English, or I can inspire them to want to communicate with me, even if it is only partially in English. Which one do you think is the most relevant to the life your students will have after they have finished their formal education? More importantly, which do you use in the classroom? Are you a jug-filler, or a candle-lighter? Whether you are an ALT or a JTE, the onus for our students` education is on us equally.
Ultimately, if we just BE who we are, social animals for whom relationship building is a natural drive, then we can already accomplish much. What is the nature of any relationship if it is not to communicate something? Can there even be communication without a relationship? Perhaps these questions are too broad for this forum. We must not lose the important tools of grammar and vocabulary in our teaching, for these are essential in facilitating communication. However, there is no need for communication where there is no relationship, no need for the exchange of information. Therefore, I will continue to live and work for the relationships I make with the students of the schools at which I teach, as well as with the citizens of Ikuno town. And, I will love every minute of it.
Sabine . 8:44 PM . Comments
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
It`s THAT Time of the Year Again...
Yes, by this I am talking about winter, where here in Japan that means judging how much weight I`ve gained and lost by how many sticky pocket warmers it takes to cover my body. It`s the time when I become the video store`s best client - renting about 10 per week. It`s the time of the year where I get suicidal if I forget to turn on my 2 heaters and electric blanket 30 minutes before going to bed (ever climbed into the freezer to sleep??). It`s the time of the year when I get out my fuzzy toilet seat cover so that my butt doesn`t have to sit on the plastic equivalent of an icicle when I have business to do. It`s the time of year when every move I make is a fancy dance to try to keep warm - jumping around and clicking on and off the various heaters I own.
But this year, I`m prepared!
I have purchased bulk packages of pocket warmers in three different sizes. Some have a sticky side so that I can tape them all over my body, some are cut to fit into my shoes. I usually wear three and have one in my pocket.
I purchased a kotatsu futon - a much thicker blanket to throw over my heating table, and I bought a proper under pad. Now, it is all rigged so that I can sleep, eat, and basically live under that table.
I purchased a second canister in which to store kerosene for my stove - I will never run out again!
I bought an electric hand pump to get the kerosene from the canister into my heater`s container in shorter time, with less mess, and much more efficiently - no more procrastinating!
I purchased a "Lap blanket" - a small patch of fleece to put on my lap when I sit at my desk at school - this, believe it or not, makes the most difference out of anything!
Today, I am wearing 5 layers on my top alone - and two pairs of socks. I bought new indoor slippers which can accomodate my new, larger, multi-layered feet.
I have planned a trip to an onsen for every weekend from now until I go to Nepal.
Yes, winter is here, and I may well see my breath in my bathroom, BUT, at least this year I expect it and can plan accordingly. My best tip for surviving the cold? Socks come off last. ALWAYS. And only take them off to shower and change into a fresh pair. Yes, I wear big, woollen socks from the local hardware store (the fuzzy kind that outside labourers would wear) 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It ain`t sexy, but neither are goosebumps and shivers (usually).
Wish me luck!!!
:)
Sabine . 9:58 PM . Comments
Sunday, January 05, 2003
ただいま?II`m Back!
あけまして?@おめでとう?@ございます?IHappy New Year!!!
Actually, I`ve been home for about a week now, but since school was closed and that is where the internet is, I have been taking an involuntary hiatus from the web. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Holiday and New Year!
Here, the new year was rung in quite quietly. Back home, there is usually a rocking good party to attend. If friends are not hosting such a party, the larger towns and cities will be sure to. Or, there`s always the option of attending one of the many parties that various hotels, bars and restaurants put on. In Canada, Christmas is the time for family, and New Year is the time for friends. It appears that in Japan, it is the opposite.
Basically, everything closes for a few days around the New Year. First, one must thoroughly clean one`s home. Because I still could not get over my cold (which had in fact turned into a full-blown flu after the 30 hour endeavour to return to Ikuno from Toronto), and because the inside temperature of my apartment was hovering around -1 degree Celsius, I decided to spend my cleaning time hiding out under the kotatsu (a table with a heating lamp under it and a futon thrown over the top)with some videos and a big box of kleenex (tissue) instead. I did manage to reduce my fever somewhat and pulled myself out of bed on the 31st to vacuum, do laundry, and clean the bathroom and kitchen.
My friends, the Shinanos, had invited me over to ring in the New Year with their family. Their English is quite good, after having lived in the Philippines for 3 years, and their kids are adorable and remind me of my neice and nephews, so I was rather pleased. I was very thankful to not have to spend the New Year alone under my kotatsu with a bottle of sake - the thought of that was just too sad, although my body was still screaming for rest.
Upon arrival, we devoured some crab nabe. This is basically a pot of boiling dasshi (fish broth) in which you cook crab (or other fish) and vegetables. As things finish cooking, you grab them with your chopsticks and dip them into some ponzu, which is basically a slightly sour sauce made with the juice of the yuzu citrus fruit. Anyway, Nabe is extremely delicious, and I plan on enjoying it many times this winter! We also ate crab brains mixed with miso - which was also surprisingly delicious, in a vegemite sort of way.
Of course, plenty of beer and sake were also enjoyed... ;)
After this, the whole family gathered around and played the board game, "Life". I have never played this game in English, let alone in Japanese. I kept losing my job and having to buy things. I also made a few archaeological discoveries. So, after becoming an actress, then losing that job, then finally becoming a doctor near the end of the game, I ended up with a property in Hawaii and enough stocks to win. Beginner`s luck.
Then, steaming bowls of delicious soba noodles were brought to the table. To slurp down these long noodles on New Year`s Eve is said to ensure that a long life full of happiness will be forthcoming. I did my best to slurp the noodles down, but after being reprimanded by my mother for slurping so many times when I was in Canada, I am afraid that most of my noodles were bitten off rather than sucked down. I wonder if biting off the long noodles will do anything to the longevity and potential happiness of my life...
We all sat around playing and watching TV and sharing ghost stories from Ikuno. I felt very comfortable with the Shinano`s. They are great people. I was explaining Canadian New Year`s traditions to them, and the part they found the most interesting was the fact that couples tend to share a deep kiss at the stroke of midnight - even if they are standing in a group of people. Shinano sensei`s wife was so generous - she offered me the services of her husband if I felt sad that I wouldn`t get a New Year`s kiss. I graciously declined her offer.
The time had come - 2003 had begun. We wished each other a Happy New Year and immediately donned our coats to go visit the shrine for the first time in the new year. Nearby, I heard the temple bells begin to ring - 108 times (for the 108 evils of man or something like that). I immediately thought of Torii sensei from school - his father is the temple-master, and I have no doubt that after all that ringing (it goes on for about an hour) their arms were about to fall off.
The shrine was busy - nearly all the local families had come out. It was eerie at night, as the snow hushed the people`s footsteps and the swaying white and red lanterns caused shadows to dance on the ground. Sake was poured and snacks were handed out, and there was a sombre tone to the groups of people who had come to visit and pray for luck in the new year. The only merriment came when people watched my ineptitude at coordinating the fancy dance of throwing money in the bin, ringing the bell, clapping twice, shutting my eyes, praying, bowing, and backing away. I somehow could not manage to perfect these dance steps this late at night and with a belly full of sake. They were all very kind to me, and decided to solve my co-ordination problem with more sake. Secretly, I think that they were surprised and touched that I came out - I think this is the first year that the town`s "gaijin" has ever attended the shrine at New Year`s Eve.
Then I blew it. I whipped out my camera and pulled the classic move of snapping a shot of the "celebrants". The flash was blinding and momentarily arrested the sombre tone. Instead, a deafening silence ensued. It turns out that I should not be surprised to see a ghostly figure in my picture when it is developed. I activated the ghosts of the shrine on New Year`s Eve. I tried to ensure them that, because I was a foreigner, I was really just activating some benevolent and curious Kami (god). Most of them realize that Shintoism is largely based on superstition, awe, and fear, but they still jump through the hoops - just in case. It wasn`t a huge gaffe by any means, and to be honest, I think they are going to be curious to see if any spirits show up in my picture. It is a move they wouldn`t have the nerve to make, but I think that they are somewhat happy that I did. It is easy to be brave when one is ignorant!
Then, temple bells still ringing (Temples are Buddhist and Shrines are Shinto - on New Year`s Eve, people go to visit shrines and sometimes temples) we noiselessly made our way home. In my apartment, I looked around*
So, this is the new year. 2003. The year of the sheep.
It kind of came in like a sheep too - quietly, with only a little "Baaa". I poured myself more sake and looked around me with new eyes. This is my home now. And yet, I still feel so clumsy here, so foreign. Before I went back to Canada, I felt very much at ease here. After three weeks in Canada, though, I felt very much the same way that I did on that first evening standing alone in my apartment. I had reverted into "Canadian Sabine". I wanted to call someone, but there was no one to call. The other ALT`s weren`t around, it was a strange hour back in Toronto and in Vancouver, and it was a strange hour in Australia. The bells stopped their ominous gonging, and the world became silent. Snow drifted down through the sky and the shadows of the mountain loomed over me. A chill swept through me as I came to the realization that I welcomed in this new year with people, but still very much alone. Just like the day I was born. And like the day I will die.
The realization of that was not sad, but liberating. It allowed me to be present in the time now. So, I poured myself some more sake (to keep warm), donned my scarf, mitts and coat and went outside to watch new snow fall on the new year, and to listen to the silence.
:)
Sabine . 6:33 PM . Comments
all journal entries
This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?
|
