Sensei and Sensibility
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
"Sabine-sensei, can we ask you a question?"
One of the third-year girls tentatively queried.
"Of course," came my reply, stupidly, hastily. You think I`d learn from the past.
Three heads draw closer to my ear. One girl giggles. They pull on my arm to drag me away from any others who might hear. "Sexu wa....?
This is one of those "Ally McBeal" moments where the character reacts by having its head pop off and coffee spew out of its mouth and then you see that actually that character kept a straight face to the other people in the room.
"What....?" I replied.
More giggles and then wild gesticulations to which I jumped up and shouted, "Come with me!!"
Nervously, the girls followed. We went into the nurse`s room and sat down around the table. There, three fifteen year-old girls giggled, while I sweated profusely and lamely muttered, " What makes you ask?"
Three mouths simultaneously open and start spewing out a flash of Japanese words and English ones. It was all I could do just to follow the words, so I tried to clarify it with them, " Most girls in Japan have their first experience in High School? You are nervous because you are graduating from Junior High and will be in High School soon? You don`t feel comfortable talking to your sisters and other female teachers because it is not usually done here? The Canadian students talked about sex openly, so you think that I would be OK with talking about it too?"
To which three heads bobbed up and down emphatically. How could I refuse that? But, how could I talk to these girls about such a topic, when I am definitely not an expert on the subject, and on the customs of the country? I couldn`t help but feel that I was treading dangerous but necessary ground. I had two choices. To talk to them frankly, or to send them on their way, just as ignorant and ill informed as when they came to me. That little, itty-bitty part of me that knows how to act responsibly started screaming at me, "If you don`t talk to them then maybe no one will and they might make ill-informed choices and get in to trouble!!!! Can you live with that???"
I looked at their impatient faces and squeaked out, "OK, let`s talk."
Again, three mouths started squawking at me in machine-gun Japanese. I pleaded with them to ask one at a time.
They wanted to know how things were different between Canada and Japan. Precisely, they wanted to know how the actual act itself differs. Politely, I informed them that I am not experienced in that realm and could not compare. However, I did remind them that it is a natural, biological act that, while it can be used for pleasure, also has an evolutionary purpose. Therefore, I imagined that since the goal is the same, the act itself would probably be similar, irrespective of the cultural backgrounds of the individuals involved.
They looked at me and at each other, twittered a bit, and then decided that it made sense.
Next question, "Does it hurt?" . Uh oh. Ummmm. Err.....Eto ne... I asked them if it was uncomfortable the first time they put on a bra. Yes. Was it uncomfortable the first time they tried on high heels. Yes. Was it uncomforable the first time they tried to use certain feminine hygiene products. Yes. Was it painful? No, not exactly. Is it uncomfortable or painful anymore? No, not at all. I just left that one to hang in the air with them. They understood where I was going with it.
Then one girl tentatively popped out, "But Sabine-sensei, foreigners are very big, ne?"
Ahem, big?! This was greeted with gestures indicating either the size of baseball bats or the certain physical dimensions of certain male organs.
Again. Ahem. Errrr.... Well...... I asked them if all the Canadian boys they met on the exchange looked the same. No. Did they have the same sized feet? No. Hands? No. Do Japanese men all look the same? No. Have the same sized feet and hands? No. Do you honestly think that the other 5.9 billion people on the planet all have the same sized...you know? ......Um, no.
More chattering and heads nodding. AHA! it makes sense (me: weehooo! I make sense!)
Other questions: Is the hair colour *there* the same as hair colour on the head? Have I done "it" before (which I diverted by asking what the average starting age is in Japan and then telling them that of Canada - it`s the same for both countries). They wanted to know what a kiss felt like and one girl confessed that she has kissed her boyfriend . They had heard that foreigners do it "backwards" with the girl on top and wanted to know if it was true. They have heard that western guys take longer but are sometimes more gentle and sometimes more fierce (I have no idea what this means). I think that they definitely have been watching too many Hollywood movies - like "Basic Instinct", for example. They wanted to know if I have I done "it" with a Japanese man (to which I diverted back to them and asked why they were so interested in the differences between foreigners and Japanese on this matter). This brought up an interesting question though:
"Isn`t it embarassing to be naked in front of someone of the opposite sex?"
"Embarrassing?" I asked.
"The man may think that you are too fat or not pretty enough or that kind of thing."
"Oh, I see. Well, I think it is natural to be a little embarrassed, to feel a little vulnerable (try looking that one up in a Japanese dictionary - phew) and shy. But, what do you think about a man who you are dating thinking that you are fat or ugly?"
"I wouldn`t want to date him!"
"I see. If you are so worried about the man thinking you are fat an ugly, maybe you are worried that he doesn`t love you." Heads nod, " And if you are worried that he will think you are fat and ugly and that he doesn`t love you, would you feel comfortable getting that intimate with him?"
"no"
"So, do you think that you should get intimate with that person?"
"No."
"Why not?"
More chattering. "It would be for the wrong reasons."
At which point I gave them each a hug, thanked them for being brave and for talking to me about this. We pinky-swore to keep our conversation a secret. I offered them my help any time, and told them that things may get scarier as they get older, but if they trust their hearts and themselves, they will be strong.
They hugged me back, and thanked me for being their big sister, and they left the room chattering excitedly, no doubt running off to tell their other, not-so-brave friends about our chat.
Sigh. I needed a good stiff drink after that!
"
]
 Sabine . 9:50 PM . Comments
Monday, February 24, 2003
work work work work work work work
Guess what I`ve been doing lately? All night and all weekend??? ....it`s a 4-letter word....
Anyway, the exciting thing that is helping me keep my head above water is my upcoming Nepal trip. After we finish buiding out house, this is what we hope to do (as sent to my by our tour guide, Mr Himal Shrestha). Mr Shrestha was referred to me by my friend, Tomoko. It is a bit disconcerting that she referred him to me only after I promised not to bite him at any point in our journey. Apparently, he is quite good-looking. Even still, it is strange that my dear friend Tomoko thinks that I am the "biting" type ;) Anyhow, definitely check out his excellent website - there are some awesome pictures of Nepal in there, and I feel like I`ve gotten to know our guide already!
Hello Sabine,
Going through your email, you have only 2 night and 3 days for a hike. This is a very short time for trekking in Nepal and to reach closer to the high Himalayan peaks. However you can take short hike near of Kathmandu Valley to pass through the rural interior of Nepal and to see panorama of high mountains. Here I’m giving you an itinerary which I have done few times in previous years and I have found it interesting by trekkers. So I think this program would be the best for you. In this program, the hike takes place in the north-east direction of Kathmandu City and the trail passes through the Jungles, waterfalls and beautiful countryside villages. Now I’m giving you an outline of this program. You may ask to me for any queries. By the way, This is a type of Tea house Trek – eating & sleeping in local tea-house lodges. If You have time please visit “Trekking Information page” on my website http://guide.com.np for other detail on trek. And please feel free to ask any question.
--------
Trek to Kathmandu Valley Rim
Duration: 3 days, Starting / Ending Point: Kathmandu, Trek Grade: 2
Highest Point: Chisapani 2194 meter
Days
Trekking Route
Altitude In Meter
Normal Walking Distance In Time
1
Drive Kathmandu to Sundarijal (13 Kms - 1 hours by Bus), Start trek to Chisapani.
2194
4/5 hours
2
Trek Chisapani to Nagarkot,
2100
6/7 hours
3
Drive to Bhaktapur City In route – 12 Kms - 30 minutes / Visit Bhaktapur City and drive back to Kathmandu – 20 Kms – 1 hour.
1350
Sabine . 9:44 PM . Comments
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
An Historic Day for Ikuno Town!
Today is THE big day. But for you, is requires some preamble.
My town has been shrinking steadily since the silver mine closed about 25 years ago. With it, many restaurants and stores have closed too. Most recently, our "buy anything" store called Hiraki closed down. We have only one tiny supermarket, and if I needed anything previously, I had to drag myself north for 40 minutes, or south for the same amount of time.
Until today!
Today marks the opening of the very first convenience store in Ikuno! That`s right, we will now have access to all the wonderful offerings of the Lawson`s chain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! Pringles, Snickers bars, bentos, ice cream, random stationery and the like will be ours for the taking - any time of the day or night. Shouts of "Irasshaimase! Konbanwa!" (the "good evening"s and "welcome"s shouted by Lawson`s employees are Japan famous because they are so frequent and loud) will now be echoing through the valleys of my tiny town at all hours of the day and night - aren`t we lucky???!
Ikuno is someplace now - next, we have to get them to actually put it on a map!!!
Sabine . 5:58 PM . Comments
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Valentine`s Day Fridge Magnet Poetry
For Valentine`s Day (albeit one week later due to my illness), I had my second year students do "Fridge Magnet Poetry". After they wrote their poem, they put it on a card to give to someone. Here`s what they came up with:
1. I want your soft lips. By Tomomi
2. Do you like chocolate? I don`t like chocolate but I like cocoa very much. joking. By Kazuaki Ueda
3 You are kind. You are funny. You are best friends. By Ai
4. I want you very gentle. By: Tomomi Kotani
5. Thank you. I love you. Chocolate for you. Shall we dance. I want your beautiful hair. By Matsushita
6. Do you like chocolate? If you like chocolate, I`ll give you some. By Kuri
7. I willingly killing you. I don`t love you. I love you? By anonymous
8. I love you. I want your heart. By Aina Matsushita
9. My heart beats very fast. Because I love you. By Shiho
9. My heart needs yours. I like all of you. By Miki
10. Will you give your heart? I`ll give my heart for you. By Asumi
11. Your chin`s moles are very nice. By Kenta
...And my favourite...
12. Thank you! Don`t worry my friend. But, I like raw cocoa better than chocolate! By Yuki Saji
Can you pick out which ones were written by the boys and which ones were written by the girls?:)
Sabine . 1:35 AM . Comments
Sunday, February 16, 2003
The Time When Toilets are THE Most Important Thing
Wednesday, 3am. A wave of nausea rolls over me and I wake up. I lie in bed, moaning, remembering my mother scolding me when I was a child for never making it to the throne on time when I had the stomach flu. On all fours, I make my way to my cubicle of a washroom and try to curl up on the 2 square foot floor of the john to sleep off the rolling in my stomach. I wake up long enough to send my prayer to the porcelain god and curl up, shivering, once again on the floor. I proceed to wake up every half an hour to repeat the process, each time cursing more loudly at the lack of central heating in Japan and at the lack of floor space in my loo. It helps if I leave the door open. The walls are paper thin, and I hear movement in the apartment down below. I am certain that my neighbours are having an unpleasant alternate alarm clock this morning - me.
8am. I have decided that I cannot make it to work on time ( I am supposed to start at 8). I call one of my teachers and tell her that I can`t make it to first period but will try to be in before lunch. She tells me to stay home. I ramble at her. She asks me if I have a fever. I touch my forehead and say, "no." Then I decide to try an actual thermometer. I stick it in my mouth and lie on the couch. I wake up an hour later to visit the loo again and discover that the thermometer has fallen out of my mouth and onto the floor. I look at it, and stupidly accept that my temperature is only 36.
My cell phone goes off. Mrs Fujiwara has noticed that my car is still in its spot and I haven`t left for work. I mumble that I am sick. I fall asleep again. Ding Dong. Mrs Fujiwara is standing in my doorway and I mumble random Japanese words at her hoping that she`ll go away so that I can sleep again. I curl up in the front entrance. An hour passes. Ding Dong. Mrs Fujiwara again, carrying a plate of comfort food: mushy boiled rice (like a rice porridge - called okayu), sour pickled plums, and grated daikon radish. My stomach flip-flops at the smell of the food and I stick the whole tray in the microwave just to block out the stench. I thank her. She looks very concerned. I leave her in my front entrance and go back to bed. It becomes obvious to me that I will not be going to school today.
I try the thermometer again - this time I managed to stay awake: 38.5 degrees C. Oh, I guess I do have a fever. I drink some Pocari Sweat (like gatorade) and tentatively try a tylenol. I stick a jellied anti-fever minty patch (really, there`s no other way to describe them) on my forehead and climb into bed. 4 hours later, I wake up. I sit up to look at my clock and a river of sweat cascades down the length of my body - the fever has broken. I have an e-mail on my cell from Mrs Fujiwara- she wants to know if I am dead - she has never seen a white person go even whiter, and thought this might be the end....
To be honest, I have no other memories of that day. I might have watched a movie, but I can`t be certain. The only thing I know is that Mrs Fujiwara came to my house again to bring me more minty patches for my fever, some gelatinous meal replacement "drinks", and a big bottle of Pocari Sweat. Just thinking about that name makes me turn green and have to run to the loo....
On Thursday, I was determined to be well, but I think I must have looked awful because the teachers all told me not to come to classes. I did make it to my elementary school, where I had the kids make Valentine`s cards while I sat in a corner and wished to die. Finally, I got to go home. I had planned to meet a friend for dinner, and couldn`t cancel on her, as I hadn`t seen her for a year or so. I thought that a nice, light bowl of Udon soup would stay down.
It didn`t.
Nor did my toast the next morning, and I ended up being late for my other elementary school because of that. I arrived, on Valentine`s Day (I had even managed to whip up a tray of Rice Krispie Squares for everyone), armed and ready to teach. Then I discovered that Shinano sensei wouldn`t be there. Usually, we teach together, though often I am the one leading the classes. Lately, he`s been busy though, and on this particular Friday, he had to go to another town for training. I practically grabbed his collar and told him that he wasn`t allowed to leave me to teach all the students by myself - what if I needed to run out quickly to be sick???! I had contemplated calling in sick, but then I realized that I had all the materials for our classes and had to at least go in to give them to him. Luckily, by this point, the whole town had heard that I was sick, and they were actually shocked to see me arrive at all to that school that day. The principal promptly came over and ordered me to go to the doctor and home to sleep. Usually I would say, "oh, no, I`m fine," but that day, I put up NO fight. I was not relishing the idea of being sick in a squat toilet, and at this point, even so much as a sip of water could send me running. I wanted to go home, to my bed, and to my wonderful, clean, western toilet.
Addendum: On Sunday, I was finally able to eat some food - a sandwich, and I am still nauseous today. Whatever this flu is, you DON`T want to catch it, so please take care!!! I am getting better after arming myself with about 4 or five packages of pills, prescribed by my local doctor. If ever you get sick in Japan, do know that you will be required to take at least 5 different kinds of medicine for each illness - it`s just the way things are done here...
Sabine . 5:26 PM . Comments
Sunday, February 09, 2003
Koi no Uta
...or "Songs of Love"
Happy Valentine`s Day (week) everyone!!!!
These 24 poems are part of a song-cycle that was written by 23 different Japanese poets between the seventh and thirteenth centuries. Although each has a different author, they tie together to tell the story of two lovers and ends with the death of one of them. They weren`t written in order, so I don`t know who was responsible for doing that! They are written in Tanka style - short poems consisting of 31 syllables. The number at the start of each verse will correspond to the list at the end of the poet who wrote it.
1.
The leaves of the bamboo grass,
In the empty mountains
Rustle in the wind.
I think of a girl
Who is not here.
2.
Someone passes,
And while I wonder
If it is he,
The midnight moon
Is covered with clouds.
3.
I send you a box
Of glowing pearls.
Wear them with irises
And orange blossoms.
4.
I wish I were close
To you as the wet skirt of
A salt girl to her body.
I think of you always.
5.
Rising sun and setting moon
Make no difference to me;
Not even for a little while
Can I of you forgetful be!
6.
When the sun arises shining,
I will think of thee;
When thou seest the moon declining,
Oh, forget not me!
7.
Yes, I am in love.
They were talking about me
Before daylight,
Although I began to love,
Without knowing it.
8.
Although I hide it
My love shows in my face
So plainly that he asks me,
"Are you thinking of something?"
9.
I once saw my beloved one
For a moment in a nap;
Since then I have begun
To look to dreams with hope.
10.
In the Bay of Sumi
The waves crowd on the beach.
Even in the night
By the corridors of dreams,
I come to you secretly.
11.
That spring night I spent
Pillowed on your arm
Never really happened
Except in a dream.
Unfortunately I am
talked about anyway.
12.
You do not come, and I wait
On Matsuo beach,
In the calm of evening.
And like the blazing
Water, I too am burning.
13.
She said she would come
At once, and so
Till the moon rose
In the October dawn,
I waited.
14.
Will he always love me?
I cannot read his heart.
This morning my thoughts
Are as disordered
As my black hair.
15.
Like Michinoku
Cloth, printed with tangled ferns,
My mind is disordered
Because of you,
But my love is not.
16.
Oh, `Capital Bird,` if your lovely name
Signifies really from whence you came -
Still in the Capital does my dear
Live or not?
Pray, let me hear!
17.
You say, "I will come."
And you do not come.
Now you say, "I will not come."
So I shall expect you.
Have I learned to understand you?
18.
I am unhappy.
I do not care what happens.
I must see you, even
If it means I shall
Be lost in Naniwa Bay.
19.
This morning I will not
Comb my hair.
It has lain
Pillowed on the hand of my lover.
20.
I must leave you, but
If I hear the sound
Of the pine that grows
On Mount Inaba,
I shall come back at once.
21.
Do not smile to yourself
Like a green mountain
With a cloud drifting across it.
People will know we are in love.
22.
We were together
Only a little while,
Though a thousand years,
We believed our love would last.
23.
Have you any idea
How long a nght can last, spent
Lying alone and sobbing?
24.
Others may forget you,
But not I.
I am haunted
By your beautiful ghost.
Wasn`t that pretty? So, which is your favourite verse? Mine are 17, 19, and 21 :)
Read on for the authors and sources:
1. Kakinomoto no Hitomaro, 7th/8th centuries
2. Lady Murasaki Shikibu, 947-1031
3. Ootomo no Yakamochi, 718-785
4. Yamabe no Akahito, 8th century
5. Fujiwara no Kinzane, 11th century
6. Fujiwara no Michitoshi 1047-1099
7. Mibu no Tadami, 10th century
8. Taira no Kanemori, 10th century
9. Ono no Komachi, 9th century
10. Fujiwara no Toshiyuki, 880-907
11. Lady Suo, 11th century
12. Fujiwara no Sadaie, 1162-1242
13. the monk Sosei, 9th century
14. Lady Horikawa, 12th century
15. Minamoto no Tooru, 10th century
16. Ariwara no Narihira, 825-880
17. Lady Ootomo no Sakanoe, 8th century
18. Prince Motoyoshi, 9th century
19. Kakinomoto no Hitomaro, 7/8th centuries
20. Ariwara no Yukihira, 810-893
21. Lady Ootomo no Sakanoe, 8th century
22. Ootomo no Yakamochi, 718-785
23. mother of the commander Michitsuna, 10th century
24. the Empress Yamatohime, 7th century
Sources:
Stolen entirely from the February 2002 Hyogo times HAJET newsletter. Thanks, Steve W!
The HT took it from these sources:
A. Miyamori, An Anthology of Japanese Poems (Tokyo, Maruzen Publishing Co. Ltd, 1938)
K. Rexroth, One Hundred Poems from the Japanese (New York, New Directions Publishing, 1964)
S. Raskin, www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/2589/koinouta.html
Sabine . 6:36 PM . Comments
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Setsubun
Once again, I havea story about my next-door neighbours to amuse and delight you.
On Monday night, just as I was cooking dinner (veggie soup!), the doorbell rang. Who should appear through my peephole, but lovely Mrs Fujiwara, with what looked like a present in her hand. I haven`t seen the Fujiwaras in a while - perhaps because they knew I had the flu and wanted to keep away...!?!
I opened the door, and the first thing she asks me is if I have thrown any beans yet. I shake my head and think, "hmm...I ATE beans for lunch today, but I can`t recall throwing any..." I shook my head once more knowing I must have misunderstood her.
"Um, mo ikkai?" I ask. Once more? " Sabine, have you thrown any beans today?" I gesticulate the action of throwing and look at her in a confused way. "Hai, hai - yet, beans, threw?"
"ummmmmmmm. Iie! No. I haven`t thrown any beans in a long time. I usually eat them instead," I replied.
Two blinks and a blank stare follow my facetious comment. " No, no! Maki sushi eat! Beans throw!" Mrs F ordered. And with that she thrust the present into my hand.
By this point, I was a wee bit reticent to open the package. It felt long and squishy, like a dead eel or snake.
"Maki - maki desu" - it`s maki. " Now, beans throw?"
I was beginning to wonder if I should call 911, but then remembered this woman`s kindnesses in the past. "OK. Now beans throw."
And with that, it all became clear. She explained to me that today was a special holiday (although we don`t get the day off for it). It is a day to celebrate the end of the cold season, she told me, as we stood shivering in my -2 degree front entrance. I guess my doubt showed on my face, because she reassured me that the weather would get warmer soon - "we`ll be able to put the kerosene stoves away in April," she whispered to me with a wink.
I don`t understand how February 3rd could possibly mark the end of the cold season, then, but hey - after spending the last month living under a table with hot packs taped over my body, I am willing to try anything.
In any case, one`s home becomes invaded by evil spirits during the cold season (no doubt there is a belief here the cabin fever is caused by such "winter spirits"), so everyone throws dried beans out the door and chants "Oni wa soto, fuku wa uchi!" Out with the devil and in with good luck!
Ooops. I bought the beans, but I accidentally ate them. I thought they were peanuts.
They are dangerous anyhow - I had visions of little old ladies slipping on millions of hard beans rolling around on the sidewalks and bounding down the hill. The dangerous beans were better off in my stomach, anyhow... but dear, sweet, Mrs F had brought along a package just in case. And so that is how I came to be throwing beans out my door at 5pm on a chilly winter`s (oops, my mistake - the END of winter`s) evening. I made a mental note not to slip on them when I stumbled from my apartment the next morning.
I don`t know why one is supposed to eat maki sushi today though. All I know is that it has to be long and stiff (I kid you not, that`s what she said) and that one is not allowed to cut it. And with that, she pressed the maki "logs" into my hand and disappeared.
I turned off the stove and delayed the consumption of my soup for another day. "How strange," I thought.
Then I realized that on that same day (the 3rd here is the 2nd in Canada), my fellow Canadians were all staring anxiously at a groundhog hole, waiting to see if the poor colour-blind creature would see his shadow or not.
The only conclusion I can draw is that winter makes everyone a little wacky - no matter where you live!
:)
Sabine . 9:07 PM . Comments
Sunday, February 02, 2003
Nepal
I am up to my ears in an organizational nightmare. Actually, it`s not that bad, but I am having dreams aboiut it.
You see, in 6 weeks, I am going to be off, with a group of 10 ALT`s here in Hyogo, to build a house in Nepal for people who couldn`t otherwise afford it, with Habitat for Humanity. Exciting, right? Totally. However, I am also organizing this trip, which means that I have the pleasure of dreaming about lists of things to do and what could all go wrong on a trip like this.
Last night alone, I dreamed that someone forgot to sign a form, that our $11 000 payment for our flights got lost in banking hell, and that someone dropped a boulder on his foot at the worksite and we had to hitch-hike back to Kathmandu to find a hospital that would accept our insurance.
I envisioned us caked in sweat, shovelling trenches for the house`s foundations and I pictured our glowing white smiles nestled in our dirt-caked faces. I could see every detail in my dreams - and hear and smell it. It was so real that I woke up from the stench of our 10 unwashed bodies (there may or may not be basic bathing facilities there) lying next to each other on the dirt floor of some random building in our town.
Today, somehow, I can`t seem to focus on my lessons. I underplanned one, and we were finished 10 minutes before class was supposed to be over. So I decided to teach the students "Eenie, meenie, miney, moe" by making a Conga line. The students loved it, but of course they did - I`D rather do a conga line than study for the upcoming High School Entrance Exams if I were them, too!!!
6 more weeks - it is going to be a helluva roller coaster. I am training my body for the work, training my stomach for all the legumes I`ll eat (we`ll probably go for weeks on curried lentils and rice), but what What WHAT can I do to train (or pacify) my mind????
Wish me luck.
:)
Sabine
Sabine . 10:49 PM . Comments
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